Close Enough to Touch
by jarrynx
Summary: Gray is a boy whose heart appears to be colder than ice. Juvia is a spirit with a curse. How will this friendship - or something more - work out? Oneshot. Au. Gruvia. Heavily inspired by "Hotarubi no Mori e".


**Title:** Close Enough to Touch

 **Summary:** Gray is a boy whose heart appears to be colder than ice. Juvia is a spirit with a curse. How will this friendship - or something _more_ \- work out?

 **Words:** 4k

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Fairy Tail, nor do I own Hotarubi no Mori e. All credit goes to its respective authors.

 **Author's Note:** hey ya'll, it's my first fanfic/post so sorry if the formatting is bad. please let me know if there's anything i can improve on! (also this fic is heavily inspired by the movie "Light of the Firefly Forest" to the point where it's basically the same plot)

It had been long since the sun had sunk under the horizon. Under a blanket of darkness, a little boy saw long, gnarled fingers where tree branches had been in the daylight, and heard whispers instead of the wind. He had never felt so cold before. Despite it being summer, the breeze felt like ice cutting through his skin.

"Why are you crying?"

The little boy, named Gray, dried his tears and looked up to see a girl. He could barely see her, only making out the outline of her white dress. She was cocking her head sideways, squatting down next to him.

Sniffing, he responded. "I don't know where I am. It's nighttime, and my uncle will be looking for me! I just want to go home."

There was a long pause before the girl spoke again. "Juvia will take you to the exit of the forest."

"W - Who's Juvia?"

"I am Juvia."

Despite her strange quirk of speaking in third person, Gray was so glad to find another person. Overcome with relief, he grinned and rushed to hug her. However, where he expected to find human warmth, he felt cool bark beneath his fingers. A look of hurt crossed his face.

"Why are you out here anyways, human boy?" questioned the girl, who had sidestepped his hug and now had her arms crossed. "Haven't you heard the stories of the spirits that roam the mountain?"

"Of course I have!" he said indignantly. Memories of late summer nights spent with his uncle came to mind. During those nights, his uncle would share tales of creatures living on the mountain next to his house. He would describe the spirits that were trapped in the forest; cursed to never leave, and forced to roam the mountain in sorrow.

"Then you should know it's dangerous for a human boy like you to be here, especially this late at night."

Gray opened and closed his mouth, searching for the right words to say. "I - I just wanted... to see one. A spirit."

She extended a stick to him expectantly. "Take the other end, human boy."

"Why? And why do you keep calling me 'human boy'? Are you not human, or somethin'?" he asked, but obeyed. His eyes had adjusted to the darkness at this point, and saw that she had hair as blue as the sky. A mask resembling a white rabbit hid her face.

"Juvia is not what you think she is." Gray stumbled a bit to keep up with the strange girl, who took long strides. "She is a spirit, with a curse that prevents her from touching humans."

"What happens if you do?"

"Juvia will disappear. That is why she couldn't touch you," she responded simply.

"Oh. I'm sorry, then. I didn't know," Gray apologized. The two continued to walk in silence, holding the same stick to imitate holding hands, until he saw the sign marking the end of the forest. He saw his home in the distance with a candle in one of the windows. A beacon to guide him the rest of the way.

"Thank you for taking me home. Your name's Juvia, right?" She said nothing, motionless as she watched him from the sign. "Well, I'm Gray. I'll be back tomorrow with a thank you gift if that's okay?"

When she didn't respond again, he turned around and began to walk away. "If you're not here, I'll just leave your gift here at the forest entrance."

Finally, she spoke. "Juvia will be here. She will see you tomorrow, Gray-sama."

***  
Gray arrived at the sign the next day with cookies. Not seeing Juvia, he leaned against the wooden post and breathed in the humid air. _Maybe she won't come_ , he thought. _Maybe I just made it all up. I couldn't have really met a spirit, could I?_

As the thoughts swarmed around his head, he heard a voice call out. "Hello, Gray-sama."

"Juvia!" he exclaimed. "I brought you cookies."

He held out the bag to Juvia, who took it gingerly. She opened the small bag curiously. After taking in the fresh scent, she lifted her mask just enough to pop one of the homemade treats in her mouth. "Thank you, Gray-sama. It's delicious."

"No problem! It's my thank you gift for last night!" he said, pleased she liked it.

"Shall Juvia and Gray-sama go now?"

"Go where?"

"Into the forest. Juvia will take you back, of course." She took out another stick and extended it to Gray, just like the previous night.

He smiled. "Let's go!"

For the rest of the summer, Gray went to the sign to meet Juvia. They would play together for the rest of the day; swimming in the lake, playing tag and hide and seek among the trees, and even just lying down to stare up at the clouds.

Gray's uncle would constantly question who he was with in the forest. After all, Gray was only six, and though kidnappings weren't common in the area they lived in, his uncle was overprotective of his sister's son.

He decided to let it go. The mountain was a quiet, peaceful place, so surely he would be safe. Even if he didn't want him in the forest, seeing Gray so happy when he returned home made it difficult to say no.

The last day of summer rolled around. As their day came to an end, Gray spoke to Juvia.

"I won't be here tomorrow. I only stay with my uncle during summer, and I have to go back to school since it's over," he explained. "I'm gonna be in first grade and I'll get to see some of my friends again! I haven't seen them since spring. Natsu's gonna be mad that I didn't call, and Cana - "

"Will you be back next summer?" Juvia asked, a hint of hope visible in her voice.

Gray blinked. "Of course."

"Then Juvia will wait for Gray-sama."

Gray was smiling as he walked back home. He had something to look forward to each summer.

***  
He returned the following summer, and the one after that, for the next five years. He was now in middle school, and no longer the crying boy Juvia had found in the forest. He was colder, more distant, as though his heart had been frozen. A cross necklace that had belonged to his father now dangled from his neck. Something had changed drastically.

"Gray-sama, you seem different," Juvia said one day as they were dipping their feet in the lake. "Is something the matter?"

Gray stared at the water for a long time before replying. "I don't know if I'll still be able to come here during the summer anymore."

"Why not?" she asked. "Maybe Gray-sama can come during the fall instead, or - "

"No, you don't get it. I just can't come here at all," he snapped back, angrily kicking his feet. The water came up and splashed Juvia. Even though he couldn't see her face, he knew she looked hurt.

She fingered her mask. "Juvia will miss Gray-sama. Gray-sama is Juvia's first friend."

Gray sighed, feeling guilty. "I'm sorry, Juvia. It's been a long year. Middle school sucks because all my friends are changing. Natsu suddenly feels the need to be rivalries and we can't do anything without competing! And - and something else happened... during winter last year."

"You can tell Juvia," she insisted, grabbing her end of the stick. Over the years, it became their way of holding hands. He appreciate the gesture and took his end.

"My parents. They were killed in a car accident." Juvia gasped. "There's a woman who wants to adopt me, her name's Ur, except I don't know if my uncle will still let me come here in the summer. He's grieving too. I - I miss them a lot, Juvia. I just wish I could've - "

The tears came down before he knew it. Hot, gooey drops of water rolled down his face, dripping through the cracks between his fingers as he desperately tried to cover them. Juvia could do nothing but watch her friend sadly.

"Juvia is so sorry, Gray-sama." She raised her hand, hovering it above his back. Juvia considered touching him, to feel his skin and embrace him. She decided against it.

"It's my fault, it's all my fault, and they're gone," he sobbed. "A - And now I'll lose you, too. I'm losing everyone."

"Gray-sama is not losing anyone," Juvia said as she took the stick in both of her hands, placing it in her lap and turning it over. "Not his parents, not Juvia."

"How do you know that?" he demanded. "What do you know about loss?! Did you even have a family? You're not even human, so - " The words came tumbling out of his mouth, making him instantly regret it. He stopped talking.

Instead of getting mad, however, Juvia reached behind her head and untied the strings of her mask. She took it off to reveal big blue eyes and rosy cheeks. "Juvia was actually a human once. Her parents abandoned her in the forest when she was just a baby."

This was all new to Gray. Over all the summers they had spent together, this was the first time he was learning about her past.

"She was supposed to die there, but the mountain god saved her by putting a spell on her. However, Juvia's body is weak. A human touch would break the spell, and she would disappear. So Juvia knows nothing of loss; how could she yearn for the parents who had left her to die?" Gray stared at her face. He didn't know what he expected to see. A creature behind the mask, maybe, like one of the other spirits he had seen the forest. Not a normal girl.

"Juvia does know one thing, though." She took the stick and pointed it at his heart. "Gray-sama's parents are here. You love them, and they love you. They will live forever in your heart."

He grasped the stick and closed his eyes. "Thank you, Juvia," Gray whispered, a feeling of warmth blooming in his chest.

***  
To both of their delight, Gray was able to return the next year. His uncle told him he would always be welcomed, and Ur was fond of the idea of Gray spending time outside.

Gray liked Ur a lot. She reminded him of his mother; she had the same gentle smile and warm hugs. She would scold him just as his mother used too, and he didn't mind one bit. It meant they cared.

"Gray-sama, do you always take off your shirt because you feel hot?" Juvia asked on one particularly humid day as they were relaxing in the shade of a tree.

He laughed. "Nah, I don't get hot actually. It's like I'm a walkin' freezer." They continued to sit in comfortable silence before he spoke again. "Say, Juvia. Can I make a guess of why you always wear that mask?"

"Sure," she replied, lifting it slightly so she could peek at his face from underneath.

"You look human, and you don't want other humans mistaking you as one. Right? 'Cause they might touch you."

Juvia giggled. "Actually, Juvia doesn't wear the mask for any specific reason. Maybe she just likes it."

"You're so weird."

Their silence was interrupted when a hummingbird suddenly flew in front of them, hovering over the ground. Gray jumped when it transformed into a huge silver wolf with metal rings attached to its ears and snout.

"Juvia," it said in a throaty voice, "you've been with this human boy for so long. Can I eat him?"

Juvia stood up and spread her arms in front of Gray. "Juvia cannot let you hurt her friend, Gajeel."

The wolf, whose name was Gajeel, seemed to bob its head in understanding. "You've got to be careful, Juvia. Human boy, don't touch Juvia. It will make her disappear, and if you do, I'll eat you."

Gray meekly responded with a nod. This had not been the first time he encountered another spirit. There had been countless other times with others, and they had all delivered the same message.

The spirit left without another word.

***  
During the winter of eighth grade, Gray found himself thinking of Juvia as he stared at the snow outside. He wondered if the mountains got cold, and made a mental note to ask the next summer.

"Ice for brains!" Natsu, one of his friends, was calling him from the door of the classroom. "It's lunch time! I'll race ya to the cafeteria!"

Gray learned to put up with Natsu's natural competitiveness. It was just the way his friend was, but recently he noticed that Natsu had been calming down a bit. Well, only ever since that blonde girl had transferred to their class.

"I'm comin', flame breath, though I ain't racing," Gray said, jogging to catch up with the pink haired boy.

That night he had another fight with his adoptive brother. Lyon was already in high school, and Gray sometimes envied him. Lyon had been with Ur for years before Gray showed up. This caused Lyon to feel superior, and Gray hated it.

"Why do you always want to go to that damn mountain anyway, huh?" Lyon demanded as Gray threw a punch. He easily dodged it.

"None of your _damn_ business!" Gray was furious. Lyon always brought up his summer trips, convinced that Gray was up to no good.

"What, do you have a girlfriend living there?" he teased as Gray shoved him into the wall. Lyon was taller and stronger from the variety of sports he played. Gray couldn't play a sport to save his life, except for ice hockey.

"Shut up, horse face!"

"Aw, you do! When can I meet her? I should come with you on your next trip!"

"Like hell you will!"

With a final punch to the gut, Gray stormed to his room. Juvia was consuming his thoughts the majority of the time. He missed her more than anything, longing to see her, talk with her... but most of all, _touch_ her. Nothing dirty, only to feel her skin under his fingertips. Gray knew it would never happen, though. He would rather die than make her disappear.

***  
It was finally summer again, and with summer came Juvia. Gray had just finished his first year of high school. He was excited to share the stories of his friends with her.

"And me and Natsu are fighting, right? A crowd's gathering, then Luce comes with Erza, and - " Gray cut himself off when he saw Juvia looking elsewhere. She still wore her mask, even though he had already seen her face. "Juvia?"

She snapped out of her thoughts. "Hm, Gray-sama? Go on with your story."

"What's up? You seem kinda out of it," he said. Juvia was absentmindedly making a flower crown. They were sitting in their favorite spot, a clearing just next to the lake. The area was angled so that sunlight shone through tree branches, casting beautiful shadows on the grass.

"Juvia just... wishes she could have the life Gray-sama does," she said softly. "She wants to have as many friends as you do, and to live a normal life."

"Why don't we then?" he asked, sitting upright. "We can have a house near the forest. You'll always wear gloves and long sleeves or something, because it's only harmful if they touch your skin, right? I'll bring all my friends here to meet you."

Juvia lifted her mask to show she was smiling. Even though he had seen her face countless times, seeing it again still took his breath away. "That would be nice, Gray-sama. Juvia looks forward to it."

***  
"A spirit festival?"

Gray was entering his last year of high school. His friendship with Juvia had been unwavering for the past decade, and he was planning a surprise for her once he graduated. The other spirits of the forest knew him as the human Juvia was so fond of. They had watched the two of them grow up together, observing their relationship grow stronger during every summer.

"Yes," responded Juvia, tugging on the stick they were sharing. "It occurs once every year during the summer. Juvia never asked you to come when we were younger, because she feared you would get frightened. Now that we're both older… "

Her voice trailed off, the offer standing. "It sounds fun. Is it just like a human festival?" asked Gray. He turned to look at her and saw her gently touching her mask, which he noticed was a nervous habit of hers.

"It's very similar, except with spirits. Juvia thinks Gray-sama will enjoy it a lot," she said. "Will you be able to sneak out tonight?"

"Definitely," he responded without skipping a beat.

"Juvia will meet you in our usual spot. Also, you might want to dress warmly."

An hour passed after the sun had set. Gray, who stole one of his uncle's long trench coats, met Juvia at the same wooden sign wearing a wool coat over her usual white dress. The thing that caught his eye was a long piece of fabric, similar to a scarf, tied around her left wrist.

"New accessory?" She shook her head and gave the other end to him.

"Tie it around your wrist. You might get lost at the festival, and Juvia doesn't want to always carry around a stick," she explained.

Juvia led Gray to a part of the forest they had been to before, except it looked entirely different. Colorful tents lined both sides, along with paper lanterns that somehow floated in the air. The amount of spirits that lived in the mountain was much greater than Gray had thought. There were children who had tails, talking animals, and even creatures he had only read about in books.

Juvia tugged him along on their fabric. He couldn't help smile as she giggled, taking one of the cotton candies that drifted away into the sky after one bite.

It was unlike a festival Gray had ever been to. No crying children, all smiles and laughter. A dancing dragon - that was actually _real_ , with scales and all - breathing fire and flying overhead. Pinwheels that never stopped spinning. Music from two gargoyles who surprisingly had melodic voices. But the thing that fascinated him most was the environment.

Somehow it had been transformed into a winter wonderland. Snow dusted the tops of trees and booths, while the lake had been frozen. It reminded Gray of his old home and his parents, since it had been cold year round where they used to live.

"Juvia, it's incredible," he said, awestruck. He looked up to see snowflakes falling from nonexistent clouds.

She turned to offer Gray a treat resembled a cupcake, except it was square and had a jello-like substance as frosting. "Juvia is glad Gray likes it."

Gray rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "Ah, we've been here for nearly two hours. Can we go somewhere a little more quiet?"

They ended up at their favorite spot, near the lake. It was completely silent except for the sound of ice crunching underfoot. Fireflies - light spirits, Juvia called them - illuminated the area around them, brightening their faces. Gray thought it was time for him to break the news.

"Juvia, I'm graduating high school this year," he said slowly, stopping at the edge of the lake.

"Mhm, you told Juvia earlier," she responded, extending her finger for one of the light spirits to land on.

"Yeah, anyway," continued Gray. _Why am I so nervous?_ "I - I'm thinking of getting a job here. So that I could be with you all the time - not just summer. Fall, winter, and spring. We'll be together. It's just what I told you years ago, but now it's actually happening."

He waited for a response. Juvia let the light spirits gather on her finger, and then blew softly to scatter them. "Gray-sama... Juvia wants you to know something."

"What is it?" Gray gulped. She was going to reject him, wasn't she? Or maybe she couldn't bear the thought of being with him all year. What she said was entirely different from what he expected.

"It's okay to forget about me, Gray," said Juvia quietly, and for the first time, he heard her speak without her little quirk.

"What are you talking about, Juvia?" he demanded. He ripped off the fabric tied to his wrist; the one thing bonding them together. He angrily walked away from her, closer to the lake. "Forget about you? Why would I want to forget my childhood friend?"

Juvia slowly undid the strings behind her head. As she took off her mask, she looked up into his eyes. His breath caught in his throat. "You're growing old, Gray-sama. We are no longer children. Juvia doesn't want to take your future away." She went on her toes to put the mask on him, careful not to touch him. And then she kissed him.

She softly planted her lips on the mask, just over where his lips were. As she took a step back, he stared at her through the holes and realized her eyes were watering. It made his heart break.

"How could you say that, Juvia?" he whispered, taking it off and putting it back where it belonged; on Juvia. "You _are_ my future."

Juvia raised the mask and opened her mouth to say something. Gray watched as her words turned into a scream. She was frantically pointing at his feet, but he couldn't hear what she was saying over the loud cracks. Before Gray could register what was happening, he fell through the ice.

***  
"Gray-sama!"

The last thing Gray heard before he hit the water was Juvia screaming his name. And then he was sinking.

The shock of the cold froze him immediately. He couldn't move at all; his entire body had gone numb. Gray wanted to let out a bitter laugh, because this would be how he dies. Freezing to death during summer.

He loved her. God, he loved Juvia. He may have not realized it when they was younger, but their love was one that slowly developed and took its sweet time over the years.

How could he love someone he could kill as soon as they touch? Gray didn't know. All he knew was that it was dangerous and he would put her safety first.

Maybe he wouldn't have to worry about it. After all, soon his body temperature would go far below average. He was going to die, and maybe he'd become a spirit like Juvia. That didn't sound so bad, if only becoming a spirit were that easy.

Gray was brought to reality when he felt fingers around his wrists, pulling him up back to safety. Who had pulled him up? Another spirit had probably heard Juvia's scream and rushed to help. Right?

He coughed out water and rubbed his eyes to see a blinding blue light. He sat there, hypnotized by the pretty lights floating up to the sky, when it finally hit him.

"J - Juvia…" Gray said as the light erupted from her palms. "You didn't touch me. You didn't. Oh, no, please." He stumbled to his feet.

Juvia was staring at her hands in awe. The light was slowly crawling up her arms, growing brighter by the second. She looked up to him with an equally bright smile. It would have been beautiful if it wasn't what he thought it was. "Gray-sama, Juvia can finally touch you. Come here!"

He could barely see her through his tears as he rushed to her embrace. The light was consuming her, and he could feel her dematerializing in his grasp.

"You can't disappear like that," he sobbed into her chest, breathing in her sweet scent for the first time. "You can't. I love you, Juvia. Please."

She caressed his cheek. Her fingers felt like fire to him. "Juvia is so happy. To finally touch a human... and it's _you_. Juvia loves you, too, Gray-sama."

He forced out a shaky laugh. "I thought - I thought I could get a job here. We could've worked it out. We could've had a life together. I had it all planned out."

Juvia was crying too at this point, yet her smile never vanished. The light up to her cheeks. It was blinding to look at, but Gray wanted to memorize every single detail of her face. "Juvia is sorry she cannot be your future. She is grateful that you were in her life. You showed her love, Gray-sama. And for her, that is enough."

He squeezed her tighter and leaned in to kiss her. Her clothes were getting looser, as though she were shrinking. He desperately held onto her, dropping onto his knees when she could no longer stand. Gray gingerly touched her face, the other hand on her own. Just as their lips were about to meet, there was another burst of light, brighter than the rest, and then she was gone.

"I love you."

Gray clutched onto her clothes, inhaling the scent that remained. Picking up her mask, he forced himself not to cry. _Juvia would not want this_.

He knew eventually he would forget her face. Maybe he would even forget the last words she said to him. Yet something he knew he would treasure in his heart forever, was the way she felt. Juvia was warm.


End file.
